Hi Everyone,

I sat down with Geneen Roth to talk about her new book Love, Finally. You might know her from Women Food and God, or from one of her ten other books about food and the self. But I’d argue this one is the most important thing she’s ever written.

On the surface it’s about her mother. The love she didn’t feel. The anger she carried. The phone call, decades later, when her mother — 94 years old — finally apologized. But what it’s really about is the story you’ve been telling yourself about yourself since you were a little person.

Geneen told me that most of us made a decision about who we were before we were seven years old. Something like: I’m not enough. I’m too much. No one really wants me. And we’ve been living inside that decision ever since. We’ve never questioned it. We’ve medicated it and therapized it and retreated it and Ozempic’d it. But we’ve never actually sat down and asked: wait, is this even true?

I’ve been thinking about this since we spoke, because I think she’s right.

There’s also a distinction she makes in the book that I hadn’t heard before.The difference between healing a wound and dissolving a conclusion. A wound is what happened to you. A conclusion is what you decided it meant. And it’s the conclusion, not the wound, that’s running your life.

We talk about all of it in this conversation. The food stuff, obviously, and her nuanced take on Ozempic. We talk about her mother and what it does to a kid to grow up inside someone else’s pain. We talk about Coco, the 80-year-old woman who helped Geneen finally reframe the beliefs that had been running her for 40 years. And we talk about whether she actually believes change is possible — not as a concept but for real.

Her answer to that last question is the one that got me.

Watch the full conversation below. And if it resonates, please share it. Love, Finally is available now.

Amanda X

On grief, going it alone, and the slow, stubborn work of becoming yourself in midlife.

I went Live with Poorna Bell this week; journalist and author of SHE WANTED MORE on grief, single life, and what it actually takes to stay standing when you need to flip the script.

If you missed it live, here’s the full timestamped run of show.

00:00 Welcome and a soft landing .

02:30 Into grief. Poorna on losing her husband Rob, and the cultural impatience around healing on a schedule.

05:45 The line of the day:

“Grief doesn’t get smaller. You get bigger around it.”

08:30 Mental health and midlife. Therapy as maintenance, not emergency. The anxiety that doesn’t announce itself.

11:15 Reinvention without the glow-up. What it actually looks like to edit your life rather than relaunch it.

14:00 Single life and solo joy. The pressure to be partnered, the assumption that solo women are women in waiting and the quiet, specific freedom of a life you built yourself.

17:40 Friendship as a primary love, not a runner-up.

21:00 Questions from the chat. How do you stop performing wellness? How do you tell healing from avoiding? How do you start lifting when you’ve never lifted?

26:30 What we’re each carrying out into the rest of the week.

30:00 Goodbyes.

The themes I left this conversation thinking about

Grief is not a project. It’s not something you complete and file away. It restructures you. The most generous thing we can do for grieving people, including ourselves is stop measuring their progress.

Midlife is an edit, not a crisis. The women I admire most in their forties and fifties aren’t reinventing themselves so much as cutting. Cutting performances. Cutting people-pleasing. Cutting the parts of the script that don’t fit.

A solo life is not a smaller life. It is, very often, a more deliberate one. There are women reading this in partnerships who need permission to imagine a life on their own terms, and women already living solo who need to hear that what they have is more than good enough.

The unglamorous work is the work

. Therapy you don’t post about. Sleep. Boundaries. Lifting heavy things. Saying the true sentence instead of the polite one. All of it changes you.

A small invitation….

If you watched, tell me what you connected with. If you didn’t, the replay is up.

I’ll be back in your inbox soon. In the meantime: keep having honest conversations.

— Amanda X

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Hope you enjoy this video .

AmandaX

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In this episode, Belle and I talk about what happens when the life you believed in disappears overnight. We talk about grief that lives in the body, about the stories we tell ourselves to survive, about shame, loneliness, and the terrifying moment when you realize you don’t actually know who you are without the roles you’ve been playing.

Belle speaks with such courage and honesty about when her husband of 20 years left without warning, about questioning her own reality, about the immense weight of heartbreak that made it hard to get out of bed, and about the long road back to herself. We also talk about money, autonomy, trauma, motherhood, love, and the belief so many of us carry, that we need a man to be safe.

This conversation is for anyone who has been through a rupture.
For anyone who has felt untethered.
For anyone rebuilding.

I’m so grateful to Belle for sharing her story. And I hope, if you’re in the middle of your own unraveling, that this episode helps you feel a little less alone.

Amanda

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Interview Breakdown

00:00 – Welcome + NYT #1 moment
Belle shares the surreal feeling of becoming a bestseller.

02:10 – Why she chose radical honesty
The moment she realized she had to tell the truth.

04:00 – Talking to her children
How she shared the book with them.

06:10 – Consulting her ex-husband
Why she didn’t want to—and how he responded.

08:00 – Two realities in one marriage
“How could I not see it?”

10:30 – The weighted blanket of grief
The physical experience of heartbreak.

13:00 – Identity collapse + fear
Losing emotional and financial security.

15:30 – The belief you need a man to be safe
And why she no longer believes it.

18:00 – The sandwich moment
What it symbolized.

23:30 – Generational infidelity patterns
Why we repeat what we try to escape.

27:00 – Being called “too angry”
The cost of telling the truth as a woman.

29:00 – Gaslighting + rewriting reality
“I didn’t leave you. I changed residences.”

31:00 – Moving the spotlight back to herself
Letting go of the “why.”

33:00 – Rediscovering joy
Writing, walking, solitude.

35:00 – Financial autonomy
Why it’s the key to freedom.

39:00 – Loneliness + feeling unlovable
Healing after rejection.

41:00 – Trauma and the body
Why feelings linger.

44:00 – Therapy + medication
How she survived suicidal ideation.

47:00 – Grief for her father
Abandonment wounds.

48:30 – Why this book resonates
Women wanting the truth.

50:00 – Closing reflections
Using pain for purpose.

Are New Year’s resolutions just another way to tighten the grip of self improvement and will many of us inevitably just end up feeling bad that we weren’t able to fulfill those commitments ?

The thin line between “helpful” and “harmful” is of course, different for everyone but when we become too focused on self-care and improving ourselves it can become detrimental.

In the beginning discovering a new way of being, a different way of living, thinking, working and loving is exciting .Suddenly there’s language for things you never had words for: boundaries, attunement, nervous system care, attachment wounds. You discover entire corners of TikTok devoted to mental health. Trending soundbites about boundaries and self…

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For me, it’s been one of the biggest transitions of my life.

When I first started feeling off, experiencing unexplained exhaustion, anxiety, and brain fog, I was convinced I was depressed, or worse, that I was losing my mind. I remember standing in my kitchen one morning, unable to recall why I’d walked in there. I actually thought I might have early dementia. I called my friend Davina McCall, one of the first wo…

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Hello Friends!

It’s been a while, but I know this interview with the formidable will just make your day, as it did mine.

What happens when everything you thought you knew — your wisdom, your insight, your hard-earned experience — suddenly stops working? That’s the place Elizabeth Gilbert found herself in. And instead of avoiding that reality, she’s written about it with true Liz honesty and humility.

I felt truly honored to sit down with her for this Conversation as I have long admired her. She vulnerably shares about love and sex addiction, the absolute chaos it created, and the radical surrender it took to begin again. What I admire most is her willingness to say, quite plainly, “I lost the plot” For someone who has inspired millions, that admission is no small thing. And yet, in the sharing of it, she offers a real kind of hope — the reminder that no matter how far we fall, there is always a way back to ourselves.

If you’ve ever struggled with destructive patterns, grief that felt unbearable, or the fear that you may never find your way through, Liz’s story will meet you right where you are.I know it did for me.

I hope you’ll listen. It’s raw, it’s vulnerable, and it’s the kind of honesty we need more of in the world.

Love,

Amanda X

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IN THIS EPISODE:

• (02:00) Elizabeth identifies sex and love addiction with lifelong relational issues

• (04:37) Surrendering to a 12-step program, a higher power, treating love addiction like substance abuse

• (10:33) Defining top-line behaviors and bottom-line behaviors in recovery

• (12:46) Elizabeth discusses the destruction of lives around her

• (19:00) Self-love over outsourcing validation and reframing intense attraction as a warning

• (25:01) Role-playing with your teenage self

• (30:59) Gaining support in a 12-step program for true surrender

• (32:56) Discussion of a practice called Two-Way Prayer

• (35:42) Elizabeth admits why she has gone public with her addiction

• (37:04) Discussion of Raya, Elizabeth's best friend

• (43:52) Navigating rage-filled grief and spiritual bankruptcy after loss

• (47:10) Switching from rage to self-accountability

• (51:42) Elizabeth made decisions on not hurting people in the telling of her book, while recovering in public

• (56:24) What is the definition of sobriety

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• Surrendering to a higher power through a 12-step program is crucial for overcoming sex addiction and love addiction, fostering lasting recovery.

• Cultivating self-love and self-accountability by adopting top-line behaviors helps break destructive cycles and achieve emotional sobriety.

• Facing grief and withdrawal from love addiction requires honest introspection to heal and build trust in oneself.

More from Elizabeth Gilbert

The New Yorker Re: All the Way to the River- LinkedIn

Elizabeth Gilbert - Website

ALL THE WAY TO THE RIVER - Instagram

BOOKS REFERENCED:

• All the Way to the River: Love, Loss, and Liberation: Gilbert, Elizabeth: 9780593540985: Amazon.com: Books
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The Latest From the Podcast:

2/13: Redefining Prayer: A Conversation with Heidi Smith
Apple | Spotify | Substack

1/22: Jillian Turecki on Self-Love, and the relationship secrets from her New Book
Apple | Spotify | Substack

10/15: Rapid-Fire Wisdom: Donna Lancaster on Life, Success, and Authentic Living
Apple | Spotify | Substack

10/8: The Power of Stories: Brittany Snow and Jaspre Guest Discuss ‘The September Letters’
Apple | Spotify | Substack

10/1: Embracing Integrity: A Conversation with Dr. Martha Beck
Apple | Spotify | Substack

9/24: Unlocking the Power of Menopause: A Conversation with Alexandra Pope & Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer
Apple | Spotify | Substack

By Amanda de Cadenet

In case you missed my live with Dene Logan today here it is …..Weirdly it sounds like I have a lisp ( which i don’t ) so here it is, lisp and all.

We talked about all the things I love to get into; emotional honesty, inherited identities, the myth of certainty, and what it actually means to come home to ourselves. And if you’ve been in the thick of questioning what it means to belong (without betraying yourself), this one’s for you.

Here’s what stuck with me.

Emotional Honesty > Performing Perfection

Dene doesn’t flinch when she talks about truth. Not the kind you post on Instagram with a carefully curated caption—but the kind that lives in your body. The kind that makes you ask, What am I really feeling right now, and can I be with it?

She reminded me that emotional honesty isn’t a performance—it’s a practice. And it’s messy. But it’s also the only way to build a life that feels like it actually belongs to you.

The Cult of Certainty

So many of us are taught to seek certainty like it’s a moral high ground. But Dene calls BS on that. She says that growth doesn’t live in certainty—it lives in the not-knowing. In the pause. In the discomfort of being in-between.

And truthfully, that’s where most of my healing has happened, too. In the liminal space. In the questions, not the answers. It reminds me of what Rainer Maria Rilke wrote in Letters to a Young Poet:

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves... Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”

Dene echoes this. We don’t need to rush the answers. We just need the courage to stay with the questions long enough to let them shape us.

Belonging Without Betrayal

This one resonated with me.How often do we shrink ourselves, soften our edges, or put on a mask just to be accepted? Dene calls this “self-abandonment in exchange for belonging.” And it’s so normalized, especially for women, that we barely even notice we’re doing it.

But there’s another way. A slower, braver way. One that invites us to reclaim who we are before the world told us who we should be.

Discomfort as Data

Rather than avoiding discomfort, Dene sees it as sacred information. It's the body saying, “Hey, something’s out of alignment here.” What would happen if we listened to that whisper before it had to scream?

The Work of Unlearning

We also talked about what it means to decolonize our sense of self. To untangle from systems that told us how to look, behave, and belong. Dene speaks to this with such grounded clarity—it’s not just about rage (though that has its place), it’s about responsibility. It’s about choosing who you want to be, again and again.

Healing in Community

Maybe the most important takeaway?

Healing doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens in safe, honest, tender relationships. The kind where your nervous system can take a breath and say, “Okay. It’s safe now.”

I left that conversation reminded that there’s no arrival point. No finish line. Just layers of truth waiting to be unearthed—and the bravery to be with ourselves in the process.

So if you’re in the weeds, questioning everything, feeling a little raw—welcome. You’re not broken. You’re waking up.

And that’s where the real discovery begins.

Keep having meaningful conversations.
Amanda X

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We had such a great live chat about Ione’s life—so much to cover, and somehow not enough time. We talked about everything: her wild, fascinating childhood, what it’s like raising kids in a world that feels so different from the one we grew up in, and of course, the famous exes—because the media loves to reduce a woman’s story to the men she’s dated. Can’t believe that is still a thing, but it is.

We fondly remembered life before social media—when we could just be, make mistakes, and get up to all kinds of craziness and not worry about it being screen-captured for eternity. We talked about being a rock wife (or, at least, Ione did), what it means to be pansexual, and this indie film moment we had back in the day when Ione, Andrew Durham, Sofia Coppola, and Spike Jonze made a movie from Ione’s house—with me in it. Just one of those very unique moments that could only have happened then.

There’s so much history between us—decades of friendship, deep talks, and wild times—that we couldn’t possibly fit it all in. But we gave it a good go. And for everything we didn’t cover, well, you’ll just have to read her book.

Such a treat to have a live chat with one of the O.G trailblazers from my early life in L.A.

Ione Forever..

X

For those of you who joined us today, this was an incredibly special meeting with the profound wisdom from the wonderful and wise Rabbi Steve Leder.

As promised here is the recording of his talk, I have left out the sharing to respect the privacy of the group.

Please feel free to share with anyone who may need to hear his words.

See you next Sat, same time, same link .

Amanda, Heidi, Bird and Tracy.

When I was navigating my father’s death two years ago, Rabbi Steve Leder reached out to me to offer his much needed support and kindly sent me his incredible book, The Beauty of What Remains. The words in that book gave me the oxygen I desperately needed and I held onto it for dear life. This week in the Grief Circle, I am so honored to have Rabbi Leder join us to share some of his profound wisdom with grief and loss.

If you have been directly affected by the LA fires and need support, please join us @ 9:30 am PST/12:30 EST on Zoom. If you previously attended, it’s the same link. If this will be your first time joining us, please register and feel free to share this invite with anyone who you think could do with some support.

Amanda X

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Hello Friends!

What’s your relationship with prayer? If you prayed when you were younger, does it feel different now? Does it feel like you're just talking into the void and hoping someone - or something - hears you? I’d been asking myself the same questions when I found The Uncommon Book of Prayer by Heidi Smith. The moment I read it, I knew I had to have her on the podcast.

In this conversation, Heidi offers a new take on prayer, one that isn’t about rituals or perfection. It’s about connection, presence, and creating something sacred on your own terms. She shares how she reimagined the rigid, traditional ideas of prayer she grew up with into something new and deeply personal.

If you’re looking to reconnect with yourself, heal on an emotional and physical level, or just curious about what prayer could mean for you now, Heidi’s perspective is quite refreshing.

I hope you’ll listen and explore this with us. It might just shift how you think about sacred practices entirely.

Love,

Amanda X

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IN THIS EPISODE:

• [1:09] Heidi shares why she wrote The Uncommon Book of Prayer

• [4:50] Discussion on defining prayer, focusing (a psychosomatic integration tool), mindfulness, meditation affirmation and power

• [10:04] Discussion of benefits of prayer, healing, self-reflection, validation, co-regulation, grounding presence, and the nervous system

• [17:13] Discussion of trauma survivors, dissociation, faith and how to pray

• [22:55] The reaction of men to the book and Heidi describes her work and just being

• [32:11] How to begin to pray

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• Prayer is redefined as a profoundly personal, sacred agreement between oneself and the divine. It emphasizes that it doesn’t have to follow a specific structure or tradition. It can evolve, adapting to one's changing beliefs and circumstances.

• Prayer and mindfulness practices can support nervous system regulation, fostering emotional self-soothing and reducing reliance on external coping mechanisms like substances or validation. They also promote improved mood, energy levels, and even healthy aging.

• Developing presence is fundamental in healing and spiritual growth. Whether through prayer, grounding practices, or co-regulation with people, animals, or nature, cultivating a sense of safety and connection is key to emotional and physical well-being.

More from Heidi Smith

The Uncommon Book of Prayer - Book

Heidi Smith Instagram

Heidi Smith Website

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The Latest From the Podcast:

1/22: Jillian Turecki on Self-Love, and the relationship secrets from her New Book
Apple | Spotify | Substack

10/15: Rapid-Fire Wisdom: Donna Lancaster on Life, Success, and Authentic Living
Apple | Spotify | Substack

10/8: The Power of Stories: Brittany Snow and Jaspre Guest Discuss ‘The September Letters’
Apple | Spotify | Substack

10/1: Embracing Integrity: A Conversation with Dr. Martha Beck
Apple | Spotify | Substack

9/24: Unlocking the Power of Menopause: A Conversation with Alexandra Pope & Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer
Apple | Spotify | Substack

8/30: Navigating Grief with Marisa Lee: Four Essential Strategies and Three Ways to Support the Bereaved
Apple | Spotify | Substack

If you would like to share the meeting with anyone else who needs it please feel free to forward this link: https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/dgN-A_3OTZaXymaWkG65ag#/registration

Until then,

Amanda, Heidi, Bird and Tracy.

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This isn’t about fixing or moving on—it’s about making room for grief, learning how to carry it, and finding connection with others who understand. Our goal is to create a space where vulnerability is met with compassion, and where each participant feels heard, seen, and valued.

The first session of The Grief Circle is happening this Saturday, February 1 at 9:30am PT/12:30pm ET via Zoom.

Register Here

Register Here

What to Expect

Each session of The Grief Circle offers an emotional refuge and a sense of connection for those navigating l…

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It's been awhile since I've talked about one of my favorite subjects, relationships and I'm so glad we're talking about it with the incredible relationship coach extraordinaire Jillian Turecki, making this her second appearance on The Conversation. I have been an admirer of Jillians for many years now, because in my humble opinion, she is the real deal. Quite how she is so spot on with her guidance and insight, I am not sure but she just has a genuine skill which I have personally benefitted from over the years.

You may be aware of her work already, you may follow her on Instagram and the great news is that now she has a new book out It Begins with You. Which in my opinion is the best title, because that’s the truth. It does begin with us, wish that wasn’t the case, but it is.

In this interview, we discuss some of the most important (and often uncomfortable) truths about relationships: Why does it all start with you? How do you actually love yourself? And what does a truly healthy relationship even look like? Jillian lays it all out—trust, respect, emotional safety, and the messy work of integrating the parts of ourselves we’ve been taught to ignore or hide.

We also talk about confidence, why women are often drawn to disastrous men, and how embracing independence and freedom can transform your relationships. Plus, Jillian shares insights on intuition and learning to trust that quiet, wise voice inside you—the one that already knows what’s best for you.

Keep having meaningful conversations….

Love,

Amanda X

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [2:52] How did Jillian begin to experience self-love

• [7:33] Raising your self-esteem

• [12:01] Jillian describes a healthy relationship and talks about her dating

• [22:36] Are you dating a nice guy or a doormat? What about gender roles

• [30:20] Jillian’s divorce and the self-help she received from Tony Robbins

• [32:30] The importance of mentorship. Why are people drawn to Jullian

• [36:22] What Jillian hopes people learn from her book, It Begins With You

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• Self-love is genuine self-acceptance—embracing your imperfections and holding yourself in high regard despite your flaws. With age and wisdom, it becomes clearer that doubting your worth is a waste of time.

• Building self-esteem requires doing hard things that challenge and empower you, giving back and fostering community. Achievements and meaningful connections strengthen yourself and create a deeper purpose and fulfillment.

• A healthy relationship is built on trust, respect, and emotional safety, forming a foundation for teamwork and collaboration. When challenges arise, healthy couples face them together, prioritizing open communication and problem-solving rather than withdrawing or blaming each other.

More from Jillian Turecki:

Jillian Turecki - Instagram

It Begins With You - Book

Listen and Subscribe on Your Favorite Podcast Platform:

Apple Podcasts 
Spotify

Leave a comment

The Latest From the Podcast:

10/15: Rapid-Fire Wisdom: Donna Lancaster on Life, Success, and Authentic Living
Apple | Spotify | Substack

10/8: The Power of Stories: Brittany Snow and Jaspre Guest Discuss ‘The September Letters’
Apple | Spotify | Substack

10/1: Embracing Integrity: A Conversation with Dr. Martha Beck
Apple | Spotify | Substack

9/24: Unlocking the Power of Menopause: A Conversation with Alexandra Pope & Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer
Apple | Spotify | Substack

8/30: Navigating Grief with Marisa Lee: Four Essential Strategies and Three Ways to Support the Bereaved
Apple | Spotify | Substack

8/6: Death, Loss and Laughter with Alyssa Limperis
Apple | Spotify | Substack

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I have lived in the City of Angels, Los Angeles, since I escaped the UK at age 19 with a new baby, seeking sunshine and a healthier way of living.

LA has always been the mecca of healthy living. From the outdoor lifestyle—we have snow and ocean, hiking, lakes, and farmland all within a few hours of each other—this city has birthed some of the wackiest and most impactful health movements and continues to be on the cutting edge of health fads, and the spiritual and wellbeing movement. It's why I live here. I got sober in LA in 2006 and found what is considered some of the best recovery in the world, which has kept me sober ever since. LA is the place to come if you want to invest in your self-care and choose a lifestyle that supports your mental, physical, and spiritual health. LA is the origin of Erewhon, the O.G. health food store, as well as the Self-Realization Center, Agape, and any and every type of spiritual group and the occasional cult like The Source. But LA is more than just w…

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I hope that each and every one of you had the exact holiday you wanted, although I'd be curious to know if anyone did. I don't know anybody who had the exact holiday they envisioned, but if you did, let me know.

Anyway, however your holiday turned out, I wanted to make a little video to talk about New Year's resolutions.

So many people have been asking me, "What are your New Year's resolutions?" and, "What do you hope for in 2025?" and, "What are your goals?" I began to feel really overwhelmed and under a lot of pressure—even more than usual. So, I'm not doing any New Year's resolutions this year. I'm just not putting myself under that kind of stress simply because it's January 1st, 2025, and I feel like I must now focus on a handful of things to improve.

For me, New Year's resolutions have never worked. I've never successfully stuck to them. Have you? If you have, I'd love to hear about your success with New Year's resolutions because, for me, they always end up being something I stick with for a little while and then forget about.

The truth is that any of us can choose to focus on improving aspects of our lives—whether it's our professional life, personal life, relationship with ourselves, spiritual practices, creativity, or anything else—at any time. You can choose to make changes because it's Wednesday, or the summer solstice, or back-to-school season, or simply because you feel like it. There’s no need to set a bunch of goals right now if you don’t feel ready to do so.

For me, I try to work a little bit on different aspects of my life throughout the year. I don’t feel the need to double down on these things just because it happens to be January 3rd, 2025.

So, those are my thoughts. I just wanted to share them with you. I'd love to know your thoughts on New Year's resolutions. Please drop your ideas and thoughts in the comments below and let me know.

Most of all, I hope 2025 is a year filled with growth, expansion, and all the good stuff. I know it’s going to be full of all kinds of stuff—that’s just the way life is, right?

All right. Take care!

Amanda X

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Enjoy..Elizabeth and Amanda X

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