I was a Real Housewife of Beverly Hills for One Night Only.

Here's How I became a Real Housewife for One Night: My Exclusive Experience Behind the Scenes.

Dear Readers of The Conversation with Amanda de Cadenet and Daylight by Elizabeth Day This is a special joint newsletter today from us both for reasons we get into below !

Enjoy..Elizabeth and Amanda X

---

Hello ! This is me Elizabeth….

Of course I watched the opening episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills season 14 as soon as it landed. What do you think I am, some kind of amateur? I was looking forward to it with the anticipatory glee of a toddler waiting for Christmas because RHOBH has been in my top two housewives franchises of all time ever since it launched. But even my Louboutin-high expectations were exceeded. The episode was so full of iconic moments it could decorate a Greek Orthodox Church.

Dorit lighting a cigarette while careening down the canyons in her Range Rover! Erika Jayne worried about leaving self-tanning marks on the sofa in the designer furniture store! Kyle refusing to refer to Morgan Wade by name! Sutton throwing a surrealist party in which Jennifer Tilly turns up in a dress made out of black swans! Kathy Hilton having her make-up done while hooked up to an IV drip! It was heaven, by way of Rodeo Drive. It was everything I wanted and more.

Anyway, there I was mainlining every single second like Kathy’s IV, not thinking it could get any better and suddenly - it did! Because there, on screen at Sutton’s surrealist party, entering with Garcelle, was none other than Amanda de Cadenet! My friend! Someone I legitimately know in real life.

Obviously I texted Amanda straight away. I needed every single detail. 

Was the tension between Kyle and Dorit really that uncomfortable?

What did Bozoma Saint John make of Kathy calling her ‘Boss’?

Why did Kathy start taking out her hair extensions in front of the entire camera crew?

Did Dorit smell of fags?

Then there were all the other nerdy questions I had too: how long does filming take? Do you *actually* forget the cameras are there? Who were the friendliest and least friendliest housewives? Did she feel the pressure to wear full glam? And so on and so forth until the end of time.

Eventually, Amanda got tired of my texting her every few seconds with yet another pressing question and we decided to put it all in a joint Substack post. So, here we have it: all the secrets of the Real Housewives of Beverley Hills EXPOSED*

*well, almost all.

---

A few days ago my phone started blowing up. Messages flooded in from a range of people I know, all reacting to my appearance on the premiere episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, which aired on Monday. Some were excited, others shocked, a few embarrassed, and all of them seemed in disbelief. The texts came from a wide array of women in my life—there were messages from women in recovery who had only met me a few times, a friend I hadn’t heard from in five years, a highly respected comedy actress, a top TV producer, and even one of the coolest girls I know. What struck me the most, was the range of reactions and the sheer excitement from everyone who had spotted me on the show. I have to say this is not my first time on TV. I grew up on television in the U.k, so this is not an abnormal occurrence for me. However, it is my first time being on a reality TV show and it’s an experience I won’t forget in a hurry . 

Let me give you some context. Over the past six years, someone from The Real Housewives casting team has reached out to me every year. And for five of those six years, I brushed off their invitations with a healthy dose of disdain. I couldn’t fathom why anyone would think I’d be a good fit for the show. Frankly, I felt I embodied everything that was kryptonite to that franchise. However, two years ago when they reached out again, something inside me thought: why don’t you do something you have never done before, why don’t you put yourself into a work environment in a medium that you have no experience with. Maybe you’ll enjoy it. The thought of spending months with a group of women, getting intimate with their issues, challenges and craziness is something that I am well equipped to handle. So, after much internal debate, I agreed to meet and discuss the possibility.

Kyle Richards- photo by Amanda

 But then my dad died and my world came apart, as did I. I’m grateful I was not on the show at the time because what happened to me during that period was not pretty, but we will save that for another time. Cut to summer of this year and the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills team reach out again and this time, I’m confident I can do it. Strangely, I had just seen my friend Garcelle Beauvais who is a long time RHOBH Housewife the week prior, and it seemed as though the stars were aligning for me to be a new cast member. I’m going to be honest that there were many people, both personally and professionally who thought that my perimenopausal brain had pushed me over the edge and that this was the most insane idea I had ever had. In fact, some people in my life felt so strongly that I was ruining my reputation and possibly theirs by association. 

At this stage of the game, I don’t make choices in a vacuum and it was a choice I made with enthusiasm and yes, more than a little trepidation. 

Garcelle at the Surrealist Ball- photo by Amanda

Here’s how I became a Real Housewife of Beverly Hills—for just one night.

As the reality of possibly joining the show began to sink in, I did what I always do: I did my research. I reached out to friends who had experience with reality TV, including Jenna Lyons and Rebecca Minkoff, both of whom had appeared on The Real Housewives of New York. I also leaned on Garcelle for advice, asking her what the day-to-day reality of being a Housewife was truly like. It was a title I never thought I’d add to my name, but here I was, seriously contemplating it.

Meanwhile, as is the way of the Universe, my personal life was anything but simple. I was preparing for both of my kids to graduate high school—my son was heading off to college, while my daughter was dealing with a significant surgery to treat years of debilitating endometriosis. To say my plate was full would be an understatement, but I was confident that we could make this work. 

As we negotiated my contract, the first shoot date was suddenly upon us, if I missed that shoot then I would be absent from the first episode, the series premiere which aired on Monday. So I took the risk and went to film without my contract being closed. And let me tell you, it was an experience that was completely new, at times scary and like nothing I had ever done before.

Jennifer Tilly and Sutton Stracke-photo by Amanda

As someone who’s been in the public eye since I was a teenager, I’m usually very careful with what I say. I’m mindful of not saying anything provocative or personal around others, especially with cameras present. I’ve always had editing control in my previous projects, so I could always cut out anything that didn’t sit right. But when I got into the car for my first shoot, a camera rig was set up right in front of me, capturing every word I said. Garcelle, a pro at this by now, reminded me that if I said anything—even just a passing comment—it could and would be used on the show. So I think I kept my words in check during the ride, knowing that every sentence counted.

When we arrived at Sutton’s party, the surrealism kicked into high gear. It felt like something out of Eyes Wide Shut, but in broad daylight and in Beverly Hills. Weird to say the least.Everywhere I looked, there were cameras roaming around, capturing every moment of interaction between the housewives and the guests. I had to get used to the fact that there was literally a camera on me at all times—I was not used to this and I am no good at small talk or faking it in any capacity. So remembering there was a camera on me took some getting used to and I have no doubt that I would absolutely forget at some point and say something that would get me in trouble.As the night progressed, I started observing the dynamics between the cast members. I found myself trying to figure out who had issues with whom—though of course, I couldn’t ask Garcelle for details since we were both mic’d up. I learned that Kyle was newly sober, and as someone with long-term sobriety myself, I felt a kinship with her and looked forward to offering support if she needed it. I also discovered that both Kyle and Dorit were going through difficult personal transitions—Kyle had separated from her husband, as had Dorit and there was big tension between them,  which I discovered once we all sat at a table to eat. 

Boz and Erika Jane -photo by Amanda

I have to be honest with you, I previously was not a fan of the RH franchise, but during this process I have come to appreciate the service this show does for so many, especially women. I actually can’t think of another show that is centering women over 40 and according to Garcelle, last season they abundantly covered her menopause journey, which must be applauded.But from what I saw, this is a snap shot of friendship dynamics, often gone wrong, which lets face it, happens all the time. Marriages coming apart due to addiction, infidelity and women struggling to navigate all the moving pieces of being a mother, wife , ex- wife, career woman and their own mental and spiritual health. True, the zip code and the designer outfits are a far cry from the average woman’s reality. But as I saw it, this show offers a glimpse into the pressures, triumphs, and tribulations that many of us face—just with a lot more cameras and a lot more drama. And I’m grateful for the opportunity to be a part of it, even if it was only for one night.