It’s Oscars weekend here in L.A where I live, and every year without fail this image resurfaces.Courtney Love and I in 1995 at the Vanity Fair Oscars Party in matching slip dresses and tiaras. At this point in my life, I can appreciate this moment with a different lens because little did I know but shortly after this, 4 months to be precise was when I hit rock bottom and got sober on Oct 26 1995. The girl in the photo had no idea how drastically her life would soon change and by looking at the images from that night, no-one could’ve known how much emotional pain I was in, least of all me.
For many years I used to feel a sense of shame when I would see this picture, as if who I was then was someone who I felt embarrassed about being.I share this story with you as it has taken me many years of recovery to have compassion for the young woman who felt so alone, lacking identity and any sense of self.If beauty, success, fame and him could have healed the wound, I would’ve been cured back t…