This week I’m sharing some valuable insights from renowned Narcissism expert Dr. Ramani. If there is anyone who knows about this subject, it’s Dr. Ramani Durvasula. She is a licensed clinical psychologist based in Los Angeles, and is renowned for her expertise in narcissism and its effects on relationships.
In the last few years, Narcissism has became a pop culture buzzword, largely due to the increase in TikTok and Insta “therapists” popping up all over the internet. All of a sudden, shitty dating behavior got mislabeled as narcissistic and it seemed like everyone had a narcissistic boss, partner, or friend. Not to say there aren't plenty of narcissists out there but surely not EVERYONE fits the description of this personality disorder.
I was eager to speak to Dr. Ramani Durvasula and get some facts from someone who is an expert on the subject. As you can imagine I had many questions for her, most of which she addresses in her new book It's Not You - Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People. I also recently learned about parental alienation, which is when a narcissist manipulates their children to turn them against the other parent through a series of extremely disturbing psychological behaviors. However, Dr. Durvasula prefers not to use this term as it's now being used against the healthier parent.
Dr. Durvasula discusses the complexities of narcissism, explaining its defining characteristics and the impact it has on individuals and their relationships. She explains that narcissism is more than just self-centeredness; it's a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a lack of empathy, and a constant need for admiration.
For those entangled in relationships with narcissists, it's crucial to prioritize one's well-being and to recognize when a relationship becomes toxic or abusive. Through her insights and guidance, Dr. Durvasula empowers individuals to identify narcissistic behaviors and take steps toward healing and reclaiming their lives.
If you have experience with either being in a relationship with a real narcissist or have been labeled one yourself, please share with us in the comments as I am curious to hear other peoples experiences with this issue.
Keep having meaningful conversations….
Love,
Amanda X
IN THIS EPISODE:
[00:38] Discussion about the overuse of the word narcissism by untrained observers, how the narcissist snares people, and how Dr. Durvasula began working with narcissistic people
[04:48] Dr. Durvasula explains what narcissism is and what it isn’t
[13:17] Can a narcissist be healed through therapy? Why does that person use recovery as a weapon
[21:32] The term parental alienation and how a narcissist manipulates their children.
[23:04] How do children cope when being raised by a narcissist, and what do you do if you are in a narcissistic relationship
[48:00] What creates adult narcissism?
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
A narcissistic individual may initially seem appealing as a partner. However, their true nature emerges once you're in a relationship. You'll constantly feel inadequate and blamed for everything. The narcissist will never take responsibility or offer apologies.
The children of a narcissist are children of child abuse—the result of the abuse lasts for years into their adulthood. Unfortunately, mental abuse is not thought of as bad as other forms of abuse.
There is help for the victims of a narcissistic abuser. Recognize your situation, accept it and then get healing through therapy. It’s not your fault.
More from Dr. Ramani Durvasula:
Book: It's Not You - Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People
The Narcissism Conversation with Dr. Ramani Durvasula